Are you playing it small?

What is holding you back? Or should I say, what are you CHOOSING to be held back by?

In life there are those who play it big, take risks, make the rules, get things done, challenge themselves no matter what the odds...Then there are those who are playing it small. So small they are able to justify to themselves that they 'can't, don't know how, ' etc. and them miss out on all of life's amazing gifts.

We have to constantly ask ourselves: Are we choosing to play it small? What is the benefit of that? Could it be so we perhaps don't get to mess it up? Where's the learning in that? (Tell me, I want to know!)

Playing it small can mean choosing to re-run the same old patterns (we all know what they are!) just to avoid something new...to avoid fear perhaps? If you are afraid of making mistakes don't be! Mistakes are what real life is made up of and they should be made often...how else would we learn or even get any feedback? At least when we give it a go, we are doing something and not avoiding something. 

There is pure joy in action. There is such a relief in doing something that has previously had a hold over us. Once we find out the logic behind our decision to play it small, the rest is easy.

We could be playing it small by choosing to hide instead of to be seen (to avoid being 'judged' by others?) Sound familiar? 

When we fear being judged by others, we are simply putting our own 'what-if''s' into the scenario, that may not even be there at all. How do we know what other people think at any one time? 

What if thinking that you may be judged is the one thing stopping you from giving it a go? (therefore justifying not having to do anything and avoiding more and more.) 

When we are doing our best, when we are in the moment, when we are being real and sincere, when we are testing our ability, when we are helping someone else, when we are honest, when we support someone, when we sacrifice for something, when we do something because we know we must, when we simply take action...where is the judgement in that?

Get what I mean? Is the pain of staying the same getting worse than the (supposed) pain of changing? 

What would it mean in your life if you just did what it was you have been putting off or fearing? More importantly....What could it mean for your future? What would it mean you could do? 

SO what is NLP anyway!? (That thing I do)

What is NLP?

Here is a quick run-through for those playing at home…

NLP began as a model of how to communicate to ourselves and to others. It was originally developed by Richard Bandler, John Griner and others.

NLP demonstrates how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes. The belief is that "the map is not the territory." The internal representations we make about the outside world are not necessarily the event itself. There is an external event that we run through our internal processing and we make an IR - Internal Representation of that event. Combine the IR with a physiology and we create a state. (Happy, sad, motivated etc) There are several elements that filter our perception: Deletion, Distortion, generalisations, meta-programs, values, memories, decisions.

Neuro - The nervous system (the mind) which our experience is processed via 5 senses- 
visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory.

Linguistic - (language and other nonverbal communication systems through which our neural representations are coded, ordered and given meaning. Includes: Pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells, words.

Programming - The ability too discover and utislise the programs we run (our communication to ourselves and others) in our neurological systems to achieve our specific & desired outcomes. It's at heart an internal and external communication model. It is a model of how we send and receive messages both verbal and nonverbal, how we process that information, and how that information puts us in particular states. Our states underlie and direct our behavior and therefore our outcomes and results. Using Meta Models, Satir Model and Milton Model techniques the desired outcomes are often achieved at a faster rate than using traditional coaching.

That's what I am using with great success to create massive change in my clients. It's so effective and goes to show that change can happen...in an instant! 

You Teach Others How To Treat You.

Have you ever wondered why people treat you a certain way? Could it be that you allow them to treat you that way? Have you ever thought about it? I have. It's amazing when you realise it. What liberties are you giving people when they are with you? Are you are teaching them that their behaviour is acceptable by you? Take your friends for example, how do they treat you? 

Are some absent until they need something? Are some angry simply because they don't know what you want? Communication...

Let others know the behaviour you expect from them and suddenly everyone is on the same page! There are no misunderstandings. You may need to let some people know what isn't cool with you anymore and how they can step up and be a better friend. 

Smile. It is all within your control. You choose how you want it to be. 

Easy.

List Your Quirks!

Yes you have quirks. They make you who you are and they are wonderful. Everyone has their own unique gifts to offer and share, we are all unique, you have heard this a thousand times. Have you ever really gone through and found exactly what makes you YOU? 

List all the talents, loves, not-loves, quirks, traits, skills and everything in between that makes you YOU! 

Keep listing for as long as it takes. GO! Write whatever comes up in 5 minutes, without stopping. you will probably laugh at yourself out loud, too. I did. Think of this as your unofficial bio. 

My list looks something like this: 

• Juggler-wannabe - (can now juggle up to 3 random things for over a minute.)
• Speed-reader.
• Bruschetta Enthusiast.
• Impulse shopper.
• Overwhelming fondness for black coffee. 
• Singer of loud non-sensical songs in the car.
• Work maker-upperer. 
• Lover of leisure
• Favourite fruit is the humble Orange.
• Collect blank journals.
• Love Owls.
• Think country-music lyrics are hysterical "...I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart." GOLD! (Johnny Cash) 
• Avid list-maker.
• Have Shiny-Thing-Syndrome (distraction-prone, in a good way.) 

And so on... 

Have fun and make your own list. You know you want to. 

What are yours? 

10 Habits Standing Between You and Your Wealth.

1. You are paying off debt in the wrong order

2. You are spending your money on impulse buys and toys 

3. You have a fear around having wealth (this is a big one!)

4. You are in a spending spiral of guilt/anxiety (you shop to feel better) 

5. You don’t ask the right questions and fall for sales traps. 

6. You aren’t taking responsibility...

7. You aren’t making any sacrifices. 

8. You have no budget.

9. You are spending more than you are bringing in.

10. You have cultivated bad habits around money.
     

 Which ones are true for you? 

Where Does Your Imagination Take You?

How often do you let yourself imagination take flight? To a place where there is no money, no time, no permission needed, no limitations, no expectations and certainly no doubt or fear. 
Where does your imagination take you when everything is possible? How can you imagine to bring more of that into your everyday life? What changes need to be made so your life reflects more of you rather than accepting what comes up as something needing to 'get through'?

When do you sit and focus on what's missing between where you are today and where you want to be? Where you can see the gap and what you need to do to jump across it. 

In that place, between A and B there lies potential. You can make it easy or hard. Fast or slow. Exciting or mediocre. I am talking about the journey between A and B and what you want that to look like. Once you realise you are in control of that journey, you will see that you can create the way forward any way you like. You can even dance between A and B if that is what you want. 

Take time to acknowledge that the journey is the key, the learning, the answer and not the actual destination. Because once you get to your destination, then the adventure just begins again, except this time you will be standing at C trying to get to D. Perfect the way you travel. 

In our lives we choose everything including the results we are currently getting. Our results are serving us on some level whether this is easy to accept or not. 

Take time to see what is it you really want and then take the steps to achieve it. Design your ideal life. If something isn't working, find out what it is that needs changing to suit you more.